How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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