i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
