I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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