i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
