Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
