Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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