if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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