Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
