WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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