I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
