Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
This girl is more easily done than said...
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
