If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
