If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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