4 words: hood of his car
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
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