okay pat passed out under dana's car
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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