Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize