Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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