the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
