I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Randomize
