Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
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