Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
