Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Randomize
