i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
