i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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