I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
