She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I just want to make out with him forever
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
