Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize