my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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