i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
