I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
