Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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