Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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