So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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