Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize