pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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