i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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