I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
