can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
