there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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