He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
