you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
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