Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
