She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
