it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
