I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
