somebody snuck up and got me drunk
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Randomize
