I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
