Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
