Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
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