I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
