return my video game
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
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