The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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