who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
