i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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