I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
