I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
