ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I just found a bag of teeth...
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
