my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
pop tarts are not kleenex
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Randomize
