Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
