but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Randomize
