I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
