It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Success! We fucked roommates!
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
