at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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