Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
