it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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