yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
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