wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Randomize
