had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize