The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
