Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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