mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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