You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
