Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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