you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
